March marks three years that we have lived in Arizona. I started this blog soon after moving here. My aspiration was, at least initially, that it would be about all the adventures that Frank and I would have here. And we have had a few, but the reality is that most of our days are spent working, our weekends caring for home and helping family, and the adventures are more like outings where we zen out and don’t feel like taking pictures and transcribing every moment. And I am so okay with that.

Last year, Pandemic Year One, I wanted to write more, to share stories and the creative side of me, but I honestly felt guilty for writing about what was happening in my imagination when the world was in a health crisis unlike anything before in my lifetime, and people I am friends with were experiencing the death of people they love. It just didn’t feel right.

I even thought about letting my “subscription” for this blog name expire and not renew it, to just let it vaporize because: a) I have very few followers/readers and b) I don’t think, or rather didn’t think, that whatever I wrote meant anything or made any difference whatsoever. That may all still be true. But, the intuition that I am getting very attuned to listening to nowadays, told me, “No, don’t let it go. Just wait.” So, as I am trying to do, I followed that lead.

My previous blogs have alluded to what I have called a spiritual journey that I feel I have been on the past several years. But I have been modest with my words, timid in my tone and fearful of full expression. Nagging, yelling, and now finally, hollering at me, is my same intuition saying that this platform is useless unless I am open and honest and brave. So, here I am, ready to boldly admit that that this journey is more of a transformation, a revelation of my self, an awakening of consciousness that has rocked me to my core.

I realize that my words do matter: written and spoken, they are energy and create a vibrational frequency that continues to expand and impact whatever it comes into contact with. Just like the energy your words carry. So if I sit on this blog and say, “Gosh I’m really going through something and I think I am getting stronger,” it’s energy is weak because it is only a partial truth and not the full expression of my what I feel and experience in my being.

And here’s where I will start loosing friends, readers, and followers as I need to shake off and clean out those who peep and peer and judge. You may stay here to read and observe but I do not write for you. I can only hope that the energy of my words turns your judgement to support if you decide to ride this ride. There are people who knew me as a child, young adult, young mother and never knew the battles behind my smiling face. You knew me in high school and theatre and because I was boisterous and quirky you might have mistaken that for confidence. You knew me in a church group or youth setting and because I have a deep faith you think you know how I should act, believe or behave. But today I say that the Michelle you knew, or projected onto me, is only a part of me. It was only one layer of my being and that is okay. But who I am is growing and becoming and rapidly evolving every moment and I can no longer write a blog about trying on contour unless I also feel safe enough to tell you the full story.

Click out now. Unsubscribe, unfriend, block, eye roll emoji your heart out, I literally am at peace with that. Fin-al-ly! And it feels so good. (Only took me about 50 years to get to the beginning.) And if you ever really loved me, the me you knew, or thought you knew, if our souls shared an energetic connection, then I know you will be right here with me continuing that. I already know who some of you will be. And I love you for loving me so much and supporting me.

It’s about to get all woo-woo up in this blog my friends. I don’t know another word for it. But the thoughts and experiences I am going through I do not believe are solitary. I believe, and know, others who are having this same pulling to understand and connect with the core of our consciousness, what I call the soul. The power of the human mind has been consuming my thoughts and I am mesmerized with studying the facet of neuroscience that explores our subconscious power. I believe that our faith in that power can transform and heal, help and change us because I am experiencing it! To this end I am studying and reading everything I can. Because I also have a vision and a belief that part of being called here to Arizona is just the beginning stages.

So don’t be surprised when you pull up my blog and see titles like, “How Yoga changed my Mind about my Body” or “My Shamanic Journey” or “Quantum Physics and the Astral Plane”. Hopefully, one day soon, I’ll even be able to host retreats in Sedona for those of us who don’t mind being a little woo-woo now and then.