The Hollow

MichelleR

The Hollow by Michelle Raskey

His hands,five chubby caterpillers
stuffed into his mouth,
a greedy swallow.
They grab all they touch,
reacting like tentacles of the sea anemone.
Everything goes in his mouth
where his tongue will be
his eyes.

His hands,
five long river reeds
float on my breast,
a dreaming wren.
They cup the hearth of me
holding back the sieve of years.
I take them to my mouth and
my tongue will taste
our love.

His hands,
five knobby tree twigs
grasp the aluminum rails,
a waiting owl.
They argue with the spoon and jello
disobey the nerves commands.
He palsies them to his mouth
but his tongue will taste
only steel.

May 1, 2018

MichelleR

Last night’s dream was a real whizbanger of weirdness:

I was in some sort of Western cafeteria-type place that was a cross between a restaurant and post-apocalyptic survival center. People seemed in varying degrees of panic. There was a large trough like area with several levels where people could have food (looked like some sort of veal or meat type product) squished through these cylinders where it would come out the other side as milk for babies. People had their babies at the troughs and would put their bottles under the cylinders to be filled up, sort of like we fill up a drink at a fast food place. I saw a couple with twins who were only feeding one baby and I became enraged about the other baby they had seemed to ignore. I went over (without asking) and picked up the other baby but found they had given him or her only a bottle nipple hooked up to a long tube that should have gone to milk but instead the baby was frantically slurping up the air. The baby’s belly was getting huge with air and I tried to gently push on the baby’s stomach to make it fart the air out. It wasn’t working. I could not get the bottle top out of the babies mouth and realized this baby was going to burst from all the air if I didn’t get it something to drink. So I started pushing people to get the end of the tube into that weird milk. I woke up to Frank’s alarm wondering what in the world?!

Feel free to leave your interpretation of my dream in a comment. I am always fascinated by the interpretation of dreams from the silly to the psychoanalysis. I won’t put my stock in any of it, but it’s fun to read!

Month One – Check!

MichelleR

So today I officially launch my Arizona Blerg Blog and I am excited to be back in the practice of writing. Today also marks our living in Arizona for one full month and as I look at all I have been able to accomplish I have to say it feels pretty rewarding. Like a crazy long list of things to do now has more checks than empty squares.  Let me show you. Pretty please. With like cherries and stuff?

  • Franky and I both are gainfully employed. I am not sure how much “gain” it will be but the fact remains we get up early and head out to work. For that, I’m grateful. I love my job at Childsplay in Tempe. It’s full of wonderfully kind people who care just as much about the good Theatre for Young Audiences can do for our youth as I do. They are equally as justifiably outraged when people say, “It’s just kids. It’s not “adult” theatre.” They will be my tribe. (But word to my RTAA tribe out there who may be reading – you are ALWAYS my home and heart!) Franky is driving trucks and hauling “fluff” (which is very ground up metal) for recycling. It’s a good job and as always, he works hard, does a great job, and comes home tired but happy!
  • I have successfully learned to navigate the Phoenix highway system. And let me tell you that is a lot of highway. Phoenix is a big beautiful spread out metropolis. It operates on a very well designed grid-system but every single one of those miles is jam-packed with cars during the rush hours. Jam. Packed. I used to drive 2 miles to work each day and it took me about five minutes. I now drive about 30 miles and it takes me an hour on a good day and going home about and hour and 15 to 30 minutes. I was spoiled. I now use my GPS like an Uber driver. And I am all about knowing that if the 10 has construction and a bad accident (almost daily btw…) that I should take the 101 to 51 or the 17 and then hit the 10 at the end – go through the tunnel to the 202 loop East and exit on Priest Drive. Coming home I just give up and get on the freeway – put a book on audio and try not to cry.
  • I now have Audible on my phone. See above…
  • We got a new bank. That is a big deal. We even “shopped” for a bank. Since our bank isn’t here in state we had to go in and find out which bank was best for us. It never ceases to amaze me how people base customer service on their first impression of you.  We picked the bank that treated us like we worth talking to, big shock. Adulting. Blerg.
  • My successful visit to the Arizona DMV.

    The Arizona DMV. Let me just tell you that my experience, I can only speak to mine, is that AZ DMV should give lessons to the CA DMV.  I got my new license, new plates/registrations for my car and our trailer, registered to vote and be a donor AND exchanged pleasantries with the nicest employee all in about 20 minutes and with no wait. They opened at 8 but when we got there at 7:45 am expecting a long-line they were already open and welcomed us in to get things going. Huh? Where am I? Oh and my license expires in like 2048 or some crazy thing and we registered our car and truck for 2 years and trailer for 5 for less money than one year would have cost us on Frank’s truck alone. VERY great way to start out a change of address. I was even walking around looking to see if they were hiring. The thought, “This looks like a nice place to work”, ran through my mind as I exited skipping to my car in joy. Joy I tell you. At the Arizona DMV.

  • We’re settled in. We’ve put too much stuff in a storage unit that is way too small. We’ve been to Walmart and yes Denise, people are the same where ever you go. 😉 I found a nail place and a hair stylist, which are big deals to an aging vain woman. We’ve met neighbors and helped Frank’s parents, found places to eat and places not to eat, decided which grocery store is the best and gotten most of our mail handled.

While the months to come will be filled with hot temperatures, finding a house, and missing my friends and family terribly, I have a great comfort in my heart. It feels like I belong here. It’s a weird experience for me. To know I left everything I knew and loved most in the world to move here.  And to somehow feel the peace that it is exactly what was supposed to happen. I try to be mindful of what I want for our future.  I visualize me writing more. I can see that somehow all of this is towards some bigger dream I have coming.  I picture the ultimate dream:

I’m sitting at the desk in my “library” in front of a big window with a view of the beautiful red rocks, saguaros, and ocotillos while the sun rises, drinking my coffee and writing a play.

I’m getting closer, in fact one month closer today.

A Tech Week Prayer

MichelleR

A prayer for my boys as they head off to Tech Sunday:

Oh Saint Shakespeare, may you look down (or up) with pity on my boys who begin the dreary marks of tech week. Protect them from the hell that awaits them as they hurry up and wait. May they be blessed with remembrance of lines, unbroken props, and doors that open. Keep them from the fall into the pit which results in injury. May you gift them with the art of the ad lib just enough to keep the show going but not so much as to have the title of “mugger”. May the director be blessed with patience to deal with the divas and the stage manager with a plethora of shushes. And may the zippers always be up. Amen.

Feel free to add your own prayers for tech week in the comments below.

Disclaimer

This blogger acknowledges that she knows little to nothing of Arizona, its people or its history. She is however, excited to learn as much as she can. This blog is just her “notes from the journey” on making an epic life changing move. If I get something wrong, meh – get used to it. Blerg.