A year ago this weekend I was finishing up the Young Playwrights Competition at RTAA as Franky and my family finished packing up our house and loading the moving van. I spent the evening being surprised out of my mind at the outpouring of love and well wishes and to this day I wear the watch the board gifted me with every single day. There is part of me that will always remain there as a spirit on that stage that was my home for over 25 years. I have spent a lot of time reflecting this past year and here are some nuggets. This is more of a journal entry so most of it will not make sense to anyone but me. But, feel free to try.
- Women are essential: This is a picture of Katie’B. Katie’B was my cubicle mate at Childsplay and acted as my trainer on Patron Manager and a host of other duties. For the past 7 years I had spent almost every single day with my partner, Jennifer, who knew my every nuance and could read me better than I could read myself. I took her for granted and I wish I could go back and spend more time with her outside of work. Katie’B represents the new women I have met since moving here; Arizona is filled with amazing women too! Women who cheer for each other and accept me into their circle without hesitation. I could name so many but if I left even one out I would be remiss. From Childsplay to the City of Peoria to my family living here I have finally been able to take stock in how much other women impact me. I regret being so busy for so long that I missed the opportunity to know the amazing women I left in California. And to my California family and friends who have continued to be a part of my new journey please know I love and value you. I wish we were closer and could be together more. I hate that it took me moving away to know your impact.
2. Having the right partner is paramount: To quote Sinead “Nothing compares to you.” (And you have to sing it to get the full effect) How can I ever feel homesick when home is a person? Home is feeling his support and love. Home is encouragement to pursue whatever my dreams are – including Marie Kondo, bullet journaling, needing an entire room of scrapbooking supplies, traveling, acting – you name it – this man has never discouraged me. Everywhere with him feels like home. When I ask him, “Did we do the right thing?” – and yes, I have asked that, he just grins and says, “well we can’t go back now.” That is how he lives his whole life – he doesn’t wander though the past and ask what if’s. He regrets nothing because it put him exactly where he is today. He lives each day as if it were a new chance, a new start. He doesn’t carry expectations for tomorrow or pull out old scars from the past – and he is teaching me. I love this man with every fiber of my being and I pray that my daughters find a partner like him one day to sit shot-gun with in the great moving van of life. 10-4 Good buddy, come on.
3. Time zones are stupid: I love that I never have to set my clock forward or back. Neener-Neener.
4. Sometimes a theatre goes dark: This one is a difficult subject for me. Someday I may choose to make it public why my personal “theatre” went dark, but not yet. Let’s just say I needed to check my premise (there is only one person who will get that reference). What is beautiful is that it has clarified for me why I love theatre, what I am passionate about, and what my purpose is. To that end – let’s leave it as my “ghost light” is still on.
5. Even a cactus holds beauty: I LOVE the desert. I just love it. Right now the blossoms are getting ready to bud. I feel just like them. Something is getting ready to bloom. I feel it; I will it. I don’t accept a different result. This year has not at all been what I planned or how I planned it. But at the same time I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
“This was reality, she thought, this sense of clear outlines, of purpose, of lightness, of hope. This was the way she had expected to live – she wanted to spend no hour and take no action that would mean less than this.”
One year already – that just doesn’t seem possible. It’s so good to check in with you, hear what’s going on in your life, and remind myself that my life has been immeasurably enriched because of YOU! Hope all is well!
Love you miss you and want only the best for you.
Hello Michelle,
I do not know if you remember me or not, but my daughter KC was a part of the youth program at RTAA for about 4-5 years, and our family and yours were moving to the Phoenix area about the same time. We emailed back and forth a few times about our moves (but not I cannot find your email address). I am struggling now to find a program in the valley that was similar to RTAA and KC is really missing the theater. Can you recommend any programs in the valley (the closer to the southwest part of the valley the better).
Hi Shannon!
Yes, I do remember you! I worked for most of last year for Childsplay, an organization I highly recommend. There are some other programs but I only know of them through others recommendations and have not worked with them yet. In Peoria, there is Theatre Works, which offers similar programs to RTAA. I’m more familiar with theatre in the NW as that is where I live, but let me ask some of my Childsplay colleagues and see if they know of any. What city are you in specifically or would be willing to drive to? Talk to you soon!!
Michelle